Hello Again –
This is the story of how
I first stepped into the world of painting—
starting with a big, white wall and
a whole lot of fear and excitement.
“Some of the wall murals from my past. I learned to paint on the job!”
How I Entered the World of Painting – My first white wall
Now I am taking a risk. This is a piece I wrote for my creativity mentor in California. It is from the heart and a bit like prose, I guess, so please indulge me here.
Sitting in the middle of the floor, laying out my brushes in an orderly line on my dust-rug, paints in lines of color, all looking very professional and easy to see. A sense of order descended into the room, as I breathed a sigh of relief, so nice to be back. Now I felt in control only to look up at the seemingly huge white gleaming wall in front of me – the fear and anticipation gurgling in my stomach, the excitement of entering the unknown. The only way to ‘Be’ within this fear was to slowly approach it, gesture by gesture, masking the wall, mixing the colors hoping ‘wall’ did not notice my quaking flesh. Then finally I looked my fear in the eye and jumped in – a mark, a color, and a place to begin. Without thinking I slowly made lines, boundaries around the wall, ‘cutting in’ to contain the impact of the energy building up inside me-and then’ splash’! There it is, the vomit of my fear breaking into reality – a paint spot on the wall greedy for my attention. As I worked rhythmically to the beat of the music from my walk-man, allowing my hand to flow beyond the control of my mind, a surge of joy rocketed through my bones, a sense of power, unbounded energy, a feverish movement unable to stop engulfed by the curiosity of creating….
“Above is an octagonal dining room painting with the life story of a wonderful author and bohemian spirit.”
So profound were these experiences that I grew to love the frightening expanse of ‘white unknown’ that became the palette for me to express what was there for me, absolutely in that moment. I never knew what would emerge and found that the result did not sit sleepily on the wall but rather engaged the audience with their own energy and individuality. Within this happening there existed a space of intensity and peace that I could not describe.
I never expected it, but that first wall became a doorway. A place I returned to again and again—not to escape life, but to meet it fully.
PS. I didn’t have a camera in those days so not a lot of images!!!!
My next blog will share what happened when I left the wall behind… and picked up a canvas.
For now thank you for being here. Look forward to next time.
Stay creative ….blaze
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