Self-Discovery

Painting on canvas wasn’t what I expected—
sometimes messy, often surprising,
and always a little bit like a dance with myself.
Thanks for joining me as I share
what I’ve learned along the way.

Painting — A Journey of Self-Discovery

As I hold my little Smudge booklets in my hand, I am drawn back into my past—the origins of my creative journey.
When I started painting on canvas, I had no idea why I was compelled to paint the way I did.

I first learned to paint on walls, creating textures with complex brushwork, following the patterns as they evolved in the paint.
I endeavoured to develop faux techniqued): s like the old masters—creating texture, playing with colour.

It wasn’t until I spent time with Susan Boulet, a visionary artist in San Francisco, that a doorway opened.
A flicker of realisation shed light on the process I was drawn to.
I realised there was more to painting than intellect and technique.

When I started painting on canvas for myself, wall finishing techniques were all I knew.
While painting fantasy marble finishes, I would lay down transparent oil paint in my medium, then ‘break the surface’ of the colour with brushes, cloth, or other tools.
I allowed the patterns and imprints in the paint to guide me.

Applying this intuitive process to canvas was emotionally challenging.
What was happening in my life seemed to be played out on the canvas.
I found that instinctual reactions unwittingly presented me with ‘tools’ to work through my emotional turmoil.

Gradually, I realised that painting was not just an art—but a metaphor for life.
A process of self-discovery and transformation.
Could it be the voice of my soul breaking through, exposing my inner world, offering insights beyond what I knew?

The confronting emotions and suffering I experienced while painting often exhausted me.
I thought the pain would never end.

Then a miracle happened.
While painting, I answered the phone. As I focused on the conversation, my brush took over.
The painting came alive on its own—effortlessly creating imagery that was a balm to my soul.
I was dumbfounded.
For that brief moment, I was in the flow of bliss.
That half-minute became a minute, then two—and the sense of inner beauty and peace expanded.
It felt like the experience of present moment in the Trust Technique®—what I call Becoming Kindred Spirits.

Painting has become a powerful force in my life—my growth, my teacher, my sanctuary.
More times than I like to admit, I forget this and pick up the brush as if washing dishes.
That lack of reverence can lead to suffering and pain.
It takes time to come back—to remember all it takes is re-entering stillness, awareness.
Some of you may know this feeling.

Writing my little Smudge book felt like revisiting and consolidating my process and connection.
My art is not a thought-out concept—rather something that happens as I paint, in spite of myself.
All I have to do is stay open and trust the process.
A metaphor for life.
A metaphor for communion with art and animals.

I deeply believe artists influence the River of Life.
What I put into my art, you—the viewer—take away.
Kindness is my motivation.
Animals open human hearts.
Open hearts are kind.
So I paint animals. They show me all that is good in my world.
Through them, I learn to be kind to myself and others. Surely only good can come from kindness.

Thank you for reading. Keep creative in your world … blaze